Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Testimony
Today was a rough day for me, for many reasons. It was mainly just one of those down in the dumps, poor me days. And for some reason, nighttime magnifies those feelings. I was ready to throw in the towel and end the day by heading off to bed early, when I saw my scriptures by the rocking chair. I couldn't ignore them and sat down to read a few chapters before sleep. As I read, my feelings of sadness, frustration, and guilt were replaced with feelings of peace and calmness. My mind was able to relax and let go of the negative things I had been feeling earlier. My testimony of the importance of personal scripture study was strengthened. Not only can we find answers to questions we have in the scriptures, we can also find peace in reading the words of our Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ. I know I felt their presence as I read tonight.
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Marriage
If you've read my other blog, you know that Jason left this morning for a rotation in Powell. I have been dreading this week for a little while now. I hate the goodbyes, I hate knowing that I won't get to see him at the end of the day, I hate the fact that he is so far away. As I watched him pull out of the parking lot, I cried and cried until I could hardly catch my breath.
This may be silly to some, especially since I will see him in a few days when I go up to visit. But he truly is my best friend. We don't know go out and do things with other people because we like to be together, and it has been this way since the beginning of our relationship. It is so hard to be away from him because he means everything to me. Even though our marriage my not be 100% perfect, I think we are a perfect pair. I am so thankful that Heavenly Father blessed me with such a wonderful man.
This may be silly to some, especially since I will see him in a few days when I go up to visit. But he truly is my best friend. We don't know go out and do things with other people because we like to be together, and it has been this way since the beginning of our relationship. It is so hard to be away from him because he means everything to me. Even though our marriage my not be 100% perfect, I think we are a perfect pair. I am so thankful that Heavenly Father blessed me with such a wonderful man.
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
Patience
For those of you who know me, really know me, know that patience is not one of my strong points. I constantly am working on and praying for help in having patience with my children. In life I struggle too. I am a person who likes instant gratification. When I want something, I want it now and feel annoyed when it doesn't happen or I don't get it right then and there. The missionaries came by Sunday night and shared some thoughts and scriptures with us on the importance of having patience.
One of the Elders read Alma 26:27
Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted us, and said: Go amongst thy brethren, the Lamanites, and bear with patience thine afflictions, and I will give unto you success.
His companion then asked me if I had any specific experiences to share where I had exercised patience and reaped the blessings. At the time I couldn't come up with anything (mainly due to the fact that I was wrestling Katelyn on my lap), so I was honest and confessed my lack of patience and desire to be better. Then he asked Jason the same question. Of course, he was ready and waiting with an answer. He shared with them how we applied for Pharmacy school 3 times before we got in. He talked about how hard it was to be rejected and unsure of what to do. In our eyes we were living our lives right, praying and fasting to get into school only to be let down. After two years I was ready to throw in the towel. Jason wanted to keep trying. I'm sure glad we did. Then Jason commented on how if we had gotten into school either of those two previous years, there's a good chance that the job we have now wouldn't have been available then. A job that is one aspect short of perfection in my eyes (the travel still worries me. It doesn't bother Jason at all, in fact I think he will enjoy the time to relax). And the two extra years that we've had to spend in Laramie have been wonderful. We've been able to make wonderful memories, grow spiritually, serve in callings that have been nothing but a blessing, and be surrounded by wonderful people. I feel so blessed that we happened upon this job. That Heavenly Father did answer our prayers, that Jason was patient enough to wait for the answer, and now we get to do with our lives exactly what we have always dreamed of.
I haven't been able to get this circumstance out of my mind and have wondered what other blessings I have missed out on due to my lack of patience. So along with time, I plan to work on patience this year and be more thankful for all the things that Heavenly Father blesses me with.
One of the Elders read Alma 26:27
Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted us, and said: Go amongst thy brethren, the Lamanites, and bear with patience thine afflictions, and I will give unto you success.
His companion then asked me if I had any specific experiences to share where I had exercised patience and reaped the blessings. At the time I couldn't come up with anything (mainly due to the fact that I was wrestling Katelyn on my lap), so I was honest and confessed my lack of patience and desire to be better. Then he asked Jason the same question. Of course, he was ready and waiting with an answer. He shared with them how we applied for Pharmacy school 3 times before we got in. He talked about how hard it was to be rejected and unsure of what to do. In our eyes we were living our lives right, praying and fasting to get into school only to be let down. After two years I was ready to throw in the towel. Jason wanted to keep trying. I'm sure glad we did. Then Jason commented on how if we had gotten into school either of those two previous years, there's a good chance that the job we have now wouldn't have been available then. A job that is one aspect short of perfection in my eyes (the travel still worries me. It doesn't bother Jason at all, in fact I think he will enjoy the time to relax). And the two extra years that we've had to spend in Laramie have been wonderful. We've been able to make wonderful memories, grow spiritually, serve in callings that have been nothing but a blessing, and be surrounded by wonderful people. I feel so blessed that we happened upon this job. That Heavenly Father did answer our prayers, that Jason was patient enough to wait for the answer, and now we get to do with our lives exactly what we have always dreamed of.
I haven't been able to get this circumstance out of my mind and have wondered what other blessings I have missed out on due to my lack of patience. So along with time, I plan to work on patience this year and be more thankful for all the things that Heavenly Father blesses me with.
Sunday, January 4, 2009
Time
I know that I have been quite the slacker with this blog, but I intend to be better at updating it.
With every new year, I make resolutions. Usually it's a list a mile long. Things that I will forget about and/or abandon in the first few weeks of trying.
This year, I took a different approach. I want to work on one big thing. The rest like being a better house keeper, having more patience, losing weight, daily scripture study are givens. I constantly need to be working on those, but this year I am going to focus on changing my life for the better in the aspect of time.
To be honest, I waste a lot of time doing.....nothing. That has become clear to me over the past month or so. I seem to stay pretty busy throughout the day, but most of the time I couldn't tell you what I was busy doing.
I need to govern my time on the computer, watching TV, and even cleaning better. I want to focus more time on my children, teaching them and helping them gain a testimony of the gospel and a love for the Savior. I want to focus more time on studying the gospel. I want to focus more time on service and sharing the gospel with those I come in contact with. I want to focus more time on my relationship with Jason. In short, I want to focus my time on things that are important, truly important.
It was reaffirmed to me this morning that this is indeed the area I need to focus on in my life.
As I was puttering around the house this morning, I thought about this new goal and committed in my mind to take action. I turned on the BYU station for noise (because there isn't enough of that in my house already) and noticed that it was a worship service. I was hoping that it would have been a devotional or Women's conference address. I was just about to turn it off when the Bishop who was speaking said this.
"Great sorrow comes when people give first class loyalty to second class causes because in the end those causes betray them. The opposite is also true. Great happiness comes when people devote themselves to first class causes. Where are you focusing your time?"
I stood there stunned for a moment, and questioned if I had really just heard what I thought I had. That message was meant for me. I felt it was a confirmation and a boost, that what I was doing was right. It created an excitement in me and an affirmation of my testimony that Heavenly Father knows me individually and will help me with the things I ask Him to.
I went on a mad hunt to find the quote that the Bishop gave. I wanted his exact words. I found it by replaying the worship service on the BYU TV website and jotting it down on a piece of paper. I have since then played it over and over in my head and asked myself the question, Where am I focusing my time?
I am excited to improve this area of my life and growing closer to my Heavenly Father and Savior because of it.
With every new year, I make resolutions. Usually it's a list a mile long. Things that I will forget about and/or abandon in the first few weeks of trying.
This year, I took a different approach. I want to work on one big thing. The rest like being a better house keeper, having more patience, losing weight, daily scripture study are givens. I constantly need to be working on those, but this year I am going to focus on changing my life for the better in the aspect of time.
To be honest, I waste a lot of time doing.....nothing. That has become clear to me over the past month or so. I seem to stay pretty busy throughout the day, but most of the time I couldn't tell you what I was busy doing.
I need to govern my time on the computer, watching TV, and even cleaning better. I want to focus more time on my children, teaching them and helping them gain a testimony of the gospel and a love for the Savior. I want to focus more time on studying the gospel. I want to focus more time on service and sharing the gospel with those I come in contact with. I want to focus more time on my relationship with Jason. In short, I want to focus my time on things that are important, truly important.
It was reaffirmed to me this morning that this is indeed the area I need to focus on in my life.
As I was puttering around the house this morning, I thought about this new goal and committed in my mind to take action. I turned on the BYU station for noise (because there isn't enough of that in my house already) and noticed that it was a worship service. I was hoping that it would have been a devotional or Women's conference address. I was just about to turn it off when the Bishop who was speaking said this.
"Great sorrow comes when people give first class loyalty to second class causes because in the end those causes betray them. The opposite is also true. Great happiness comes when people devote themselves to first class causes. Where are you focusing your time?"
I stood there stunned for a moment, and questioned if I had really just heard what I thought I had. That message was meant for me. I felt it was a confirmation and a boost, that what I was doing was right. It created an excitement in me and an affirmation of my testimony that Heavenly Father knows me individually and will help me with the things I ask Him to.
I went on a mad hunt to find the quote that the Bishop gave. I wanted his exact words. I found it by replaying the worship service on the BYU TV website and jotting it down on a piece of paper. I have since then played it over and over in my head and asked myself the question, Where am I focusing my time?
I am excited to improve this area of my life and growing closer to my Heavenly Father and Savior because of it.
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