Patience

For those of you who know me, really know me, know that patience is not one of my strong points. I constantly am working on and praying for help in having patience with my children. In life I struggle too. I am a person who likes instant gratification. When I want something, I want it now and feel annoyed when it doesn't happen or I don't get it right then and there. The missionaries came by Sunday night and shared some thoughts and scriptures with us on the importance of having patience.

One of the Elders read Alma 26:27

Now when our hearts were depressed, and we were about to turn back, behold, the Lord comforted us, and said: Go amongst thy brethren, the Lamanites, and bear with patience thine afflictions, and I will give unto you success.

His companion then asked me if I had any specific experiences to share where I had exercised patience and reaped the blessings. At the time I couldn't come up with anything (mainly due to the fact that I was wrestling Katelyn on my lap), so I was honest and confessed my lack of patience and desire to be better. Then he asked Jason the same question. Of course, he was ready and waiting with an answer. He shared with them how we applied for Pharmacy school 3 times before we got in. He talked about how hard it was to be rejected and unsure of what to do. In our eyes we were living our lives right, praying and fasting to get into school only to be let down. After two years I was ready to throw in the towel. Jason wanted to keep trying. I'm sure glad we did. Then Jason commented on how if we had gotten into school either of those two previous years, there's a good chance that the job we have now wouldn't have been available then. A job that is one aspect short of perfection in my eyes (the travel still worries me. It doesn't bother Jason at all, in fact I think he will enjoy the time to relax). And the two extra years that we've had to spend in Laramie have been wonderful. We've been able to make wonderful memories, grow spiritually, serve in callings that have been nothing but a blessing, and be surrounded by wonderful people. I feel so blessed that we happened upon this job. That Heavenly Father did answer our prayers, that Jason was patient enough to wait for the answer, and now we get to do with our lives exactly what we have always dreamed of.

I haven't been able to get this circumstance out of my mind and have wondered what other blessings I have missed out on due to my lack of patience. So along with time, I plan to work on patience this year and be more thankful for all the things that Heavenly Father blesses me with.

Time

I know that I have been quite the slacker with this blog, but I intend to be better at updating it.


With every new year, I make resolutions. Usually it's a list a mile long. Things that I will forget about and/or abandon in the first few weeks of trying.

This year, I took a different approach. I want to work on one big thing. The rest like being a better house keeper, having more patience, losing weight, daily scripture study are givens. I constantly need to be working on those, but this year I am going to focus on changing my life for the better in the aspect of time.

To be honest, I waste a lot of time doing.....nothing. That has become clear to me over the past month or so. I seem to stay pretty busy throughout the day, but most of the time I couldn't tell you what I was busy doing.

I need to govern my time on the computer, watching TV, and even cleaning better. I want to focus more time on my children, teaching them and helping them gain a testimony of the gospel and a love for the Savior. I want to focus more time on studying the gospel. I want to focus more time on service and sharing the gospel with those I come in contact with. I want to focus more time on my relationship with Jason. In short, I want to focus my time on things that are important, truly important.

It was reaffirmed to me this morning that this is indeed the area I need to focus on in my life.

As I was puttering around the house this morning, I thought about this new goal and committed in my mind to take action. I turned on the BYU station for noise (because there isn't enough of that in my house already) and noticed that it was a worship service. I was hoping that it would have been a devotional or Women's conference address. I was just about to turn it off when the Bishop who was speaking said this.

"Great sorrow comes when people give first class loyalty to second class causes because in the end those causes betray them. The opposite is also true. Great happiness comes when people devote themselves to first class causes. Where are you focusing your time?"

I stood there stunned for a moment, and questioned if I had really just heard what I thought I had. That message was meant for me. I felt it was a confirmation and a boost, that what I was doing was right. It created an excitement in me and an affirmation of my testimony that Heavenly Father knows me individually and will help me with the things I ask Him to.

I went on a mad hunt to find the quote that the Bishop gave. I wanted his exact words. I found it by replaying the worship service on the BYU TV website and jotting it down on a piece of paper. I have since then played it over and over in my head and asked myself the question, Where am I focusing my time?

I am excited to improve this area of my life and growing closer to my Heavenly Father and Savior because of it.

My Blessings

Every fast Sunday, our Bishop asks us to take some time and count our blessings. Before I get ready for Church, I thought I would jot down a few things I'm thankful for. There is no way I could ever write them all done at one time because I feel my life has been very blessed. So here a just a couple:

1. My family, Jason, Katelyn, and Jacob, of course. I constantly wonder what I did to deserve such wonderful people in my life.
2. My testimony. Even though my practices go in waves like the Lamanites, I have never doubted the gospel and the truthfulness of it's teachings. I know I am the happiest, when I am living my life accordingly.
3. My Savior, for his atonement. So that I can repent when I make my mistakes and know that I can be forgiven through his sacrifice for me.
4. My health. I am so thankful that I can get up each day and play with my kids and be active with them.
5. For my home. I love being in my apartment. We live a very comfortable life and haven't had to want for much (except for maybe the unnecessary things ;))
6. For both mine and Jason's education. I realize this is a blessing, that this opportunity is not available to everyone who desires it. I am so thankful for the life and stability that Jason's job with provide for us when he's done.
7. For mine and Jason's parents. For their example of how to do a good job of raising kids and how to live a righteous life.
8. For my sisters who are my best friends. I know I can count on them to be there for me at anytime.

I know my Heavenly Father has blessed me greatly in my life, and that I need to work on showing a greater appreciation through my actions to Him.

I would like to encourage you to reflect on your blessings.

Have a good Sunday!

Scripture Study

I wanted to share some thoughts from this morning's scripture study. I was reading in Mormon about the great wars between the Nephites and the Lamanites and all that Mormon witnessed while he was the leader and as an observer. I'll have to be honest. These chapters have been hard for me to read. They're obviously in there for a purpose, and we need to read them, but my mind was tired of reading about all the bloodshed and sacrificing and wickedness of both sides. My reading turned into the "just reading but not processing" state. Where you know you have read several verses but couldn't tell anyone what it was about (maybe some of you know have experienced this too). But when I got to Mormon 5:10 something happened...my mind comprehended what it was reading and I read the verse over and over again.


10 And now behold, this I speak unto their seed, and also to the Gentiles who have care for the house of Israel, that realize and know from whence their blessings come.

The words "that realize and know from whence their blessings come", stopped me in my tracks and brought me back to what I was reading. So much of the time I forget where my blessings come from. I always remember to ask for help when I need it because I know that Heavenly Father hears my prayer. Where I fail is in returning and giving thanks for the things He blesses me with and the prayers He answers. After my mind was refreshed, I was able to go back to the first of the chapter and receive a better understanding of why these records of such an awful time are kept, so that the remnant of the people will have a record and that future generations will know of the wickedness and not follow in the footsteps of these wicked people. I also read that Mormon only tells a little of what happens. "Therefore I write a small abridgement, daring not to give a full account of the things which I have seen, because of the commandment which I have received, and also that ye might not have too great sorrow because of the wickedness of this people."

Today even though I wasn't as actively engaged in my scripture study as I should have been, I was so thankful for the reminder that I need to be more grateful to my Heavenly Father for all that He has given me.

Albertsons

Today Jake and I went to Albertsons. They were having some really good sales on things we already buy, so I decided to swing by there before doing the rest of our shopping at Walmart. I knew that hauling Jacob into two places around nap time was pushing it, but I did it anyway. On the way into Albertsons, he was being a big turkey: playing the middle of the road, running away from me, banging on the pop machines, and million other things that made me want to scream and we weren't even in the store yet. I finally got him under control and headed toward the entrance. Just as the door swung open for us to go in, an elderly lady was on her way out so the door on the other side swung out toward us. Jake broke away from me and darted into that other door, but the lady's cart was in the way. She tried to tell him to move so that the door didn't shut on him, but the words weren't even out of her mouth before the door started closing. I was already on the other side a couple steps in the door when I saw what was happening. I rushed out the door and into the other side and grabbed his just as it closed on his arm. I was able to pull it out in time, but it resulted in some scratches on his arm. Jake immediately started bawling and having a major melt down. I'm not one to judge his pain because I've never had my arm shut in a door, but he was really putting on the show. The lady tried to console him by patting his back and apologized a million times. I tried to tell her that it wasn't her fault and that he would be okay. She left while I was still trying console him, and all I could picture was the sadness in her eyes. Jake eventually calmed down (with the help of a package of doughnut holes), and we went on with our shopping. The whole time I was walking up and down the isles, I kept thinking about that lady and how she must have felt. Even though it was in no way her fault, she felt bad because she had backed up to let Jacob in causing the door to shut. I know how I would have felt if I would have been in a similar situation. I worry about everything, and I'm sure it would have been on my mind a long time.
After we finished up at Albertsons, we headed to Walmart. Jake was busy finding "Blue's Clues", and I was rushing up and down the isles trying to get out of there as fast as I could. I was just ready to head down the baking isle, when the lady from Albertson's turned the corner. She looked at me for a minute and then came up to Jake. I told her that he was just fine and that everything was going to be okay. I told her it was in no way her fault and she wished us well. As soon as we parted ways, I felt so thankful that I had run into her one more time, to let her know everything was okay. I immediately said a silent prayer and thanked my Heavenly Father for letting us cross paths again so I could make things right.

Finding Joy in the Journey

“You pile up enough tomorrows, and you’ll find you’ve collected a lot of empty yesterdays.”

I am a planner, to the point it's almost a little out of control. He loves me enough so he would never admit it, but sometimes I think it drives Jason nuts. I constantly have lists going of things I need to do. I'm always thinking about what is going to happen tomorrow and how I can prepare for it. In some ways, this can be good (It really helped me out in my primary calling. I always planned for every possible scenario that could happen so I was, for the most part, prepared if something ever came up), but it some ways it can be bad. Our upcoming major life event is a big one (hence the name major life event). We have been in college for a long time; and now that graduation is just few short months away, I can't help but feel excited and anxious for that day to come. I think about it constantly and all it entails: packing, moving, money, housing, work, school for kids, family, and so on. As I was getting ready this morning, my mind was consumed with these same thoughts. Then amongst the noise, I heard a still small voice that quieted everything I had been thinking: Stop counting down the days and start enjoying what you have now. Instantly I thought of President Monson's conference talk. When I listened to his talk during conference I told Jason, "This must be important. I think he has talked about this before." And he had. In the April 2008 Ensign, he talked about preparing for the future but also living in the now. He shared a couple of the same thoughts in both talks. I always stress the importance of listening to the prophet and heeding his counsel to my kids, but here I was a total hypocrite. I was so thankful for that feeling that came over me. While Jake was in his room for quiet time, I reread both President Monson's conference talk and the first presidency message in the Ensign. It was reaffirmed to me that I do need to relish every moment I have with my kids and Jason. While it is okay to prepare for, look forward to, and even be excited about the future, we can't forget to be thankful for and enjoy what we have now.

This is our one and only chance at mortal life—here and now. The longer we live, the greater is our realization that it is brief. Opportunities come, and then they are gone. I believe that among the greatest lessons we are to learn in this short sojourn upon the earth are lessons that help us distinguish between what is important and what is not. I plead with you not to let those most important things pass you by as you plan for that illusive and non-existent future when you will have time to do all that you want to do. Instead, find joy in the journey—now.

So today I took a little extra time to play with Jake in the toy room and visit with him and look at him. I made sure to really visit with Katelyn after she got home from school, and we took some time to go to the park instead of cleaning the house (even though it needed it terribly).

If you are still in the process of raising children, be aware that the tiny fingerprints that show up on almost every newly cleaned surface, the toys scattered about the house, the piles and piles of laundry to be tackled will disappear all too soon and that you will—to your surprise—miss them profoundly.

Yes, I will be excited when it's finally time to make the next big move (and in the same breath I know there will be times when I'll wish we were back where we are now), but my kids grow so fast as it is. I don't need to be wishing away a year of their lives. A year that can be spent making wonderful memories of this place we have called home for so many years. I feel so thankful that my Heavenly Father sent me that simple reminder of our prophets counsel and the blessings that come from obeying.

Let us relish life as we live it, find joy in the journey, and share our love with friends and family. One day each of us will run out of tomorrows.

Finding Joy in the Journey

Treasure of Eternal Value

Sisters

I have mentioned many, many times on my other blog how much my sisters mean to me. I am so grateful that my mom raised us to be friends as well as siblings. Of course there are times when we fight like sisters, but I also know, without a doubt, that if I ever needed anything or something happened, my sisters would be some of the first to be by my side. I guess you could say we have each others backs (and have taken it to the extremes when it comes to boyfriends and/or mean girls :)). I would go to end of the world for my sisters, and I know they would do the same for me. Today was no different. Our Tahoe was ready to be picked up at the GM dealership and needed paid for. Jason asked if I could find somebody to give me a ride, and I reminded him that Bethany lived in Laramie. Without hesitation, I knew that I could call Bethany and as soon as her schedule allowed she would give Jake and I a ride (and put Jake's shoes on, and his shirt on, and haul him out to the car, and put him in his carseat, and reload him in the Tahoe, and so on). When it was time to part ways, I thanked Beth for letting us bum a ride off her. I felt the spirit so strong and knew how important it was for me to help my own kids form strong bonds with each other. I am so thankful that my mom taught us to put family first through her words and her actions, and I feel so blessed that Heavenly Father sent me 4 wonderful sisters to be my best friends.